I was only eighteen years old, newly introduced to the idea of seeking the will of God and learning to be led by the Spirit of God having given my life to Christ two years before. I only had a High School education. Poverty had added to my challenges in trying to get sufficient credit passes for admission to the university. In the midst of all that, I had turned to the Lord for salvation. Subsequently, I began to sense the call of God into ministry, started to preach and experience the mighty hand of God upon my life with visible fruits of impact like saved souls, people baptized in the Holy Spirit, casting out of devils and divine healing.

The question was, should I seek further secular education or simply continue in ‘full-time ministry?’. Looking back today, the answer looks straightforward but for a naive eighteen-year-old and young believer, it was a major crossroad that would define the trajectory of my life and ministry.

We all will find ourselves there at several junctions of life and I have been there a few more times. They are places where we would find ourselves between two major alternatives. Of course, we make many choices daily but at a few junctures in life, we would have to make decisions between two endearing alternatives or even two difficult ones and their impact will be enduring.

It will be as serious as a choice between life and death at times, prosperity or poverty, sickness or health. It is just that such results will show up later and not immediately. A right turn, and it can lead to prosperity and peace. A wrong one, and it can lead to penury and poor mental health. A right step, and we can find ourselves in supernatural success and favour. A wrong one and it will be a descent from failure to failure.

‘He told them, “My soul is crushed with grief to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”’‭Matthew‬ ‭26‬:‭38‬ ‭NLT‬‬.

Crossroads are normal. The Lord Jesus Christ found Himself there at Gethsemane. At the imminence of His arrest, trial and subsequent death by crucifixion, He was overwhelmed with sorrow. His humanity cringed at the awareness of all that was ahead of Him, both naturally and spiritually. He was overwhelmed with anguish. Although He had been aware of His destiny and calling to redeem the world through the cross of Calvary and had rebuked Peter for trying to talk Him out of it (Matthew 16:23), He found Himself struggling to go through it.

His heart was fully surrendered to do the will of His Father but He still wished there was an alternative as His humanity cringed at the reality of going through with it. We thank Him for going through with it as He prayed to the Father and was strengthened to continue the journey to Golgotha for us in the natural world and then descended to Hades in the spirit realm. Of course, the eventual resurrection and ascension capped it all as He sat down at the right hand of the Father, having obtained eternal redemption for us. Our choices must always be that of the spirit over the flesh.

We face such crossroads when our recreated spirits desire to follow the plan of God while our human flesh (human nature) seeks that which is reasonable and avoids paying the price for spiritual power or service to humanity. After Christ’s crucifixion which left the disciples in despair, Peter abandoned the ministry and led others back into the fishing business they had abandoned three years earlier as they struggled in their faith (John 21:3). They were not sure about the resurrection nor what it meant. They knew how to relate to a powerful and anointed Messiah, not the one that seemed so helpless in the hands of the Sanhedrin and their Roman cohorts.

As a part of their hearts longed for Him and rehearsed His teachings, the fact that the Holy Spirit was yet to enter into them still limited their understanding of spiritual things (John 17:13-14). In the midst of their doubts, they yielded to their human nature. It was easy to go back to the familiar, the certain, the reasonable choice. A proverb in my native Yoruba tribe of Nigeria says, ‘If it is not possible to go further, it will be possible to retrace one’s steps’. The disciples retraced their steps. A part of them wanted to forget the Great Commission, an assignment that depended on a Jesus they could not see anymore and whose life had ended in defeat. The Master foresaw their failure and had predicted Peter would go through this hour of doubt but had prayed for his victory over it all. It was a crossroads for them.

Thank God, with Christ appearing to them and encouraging them, they returned to their calling in faith. Faith is the way we live in this Kingdom and we have to learn to doubt our doubts and mix faith with the promises of God (James 1:5, Hebrews 4:2). The nation of Israel erred in this area several times. Relating with an unseen God was often difficult for them as it is for many people today. Most people want to see God, feel Him or experience Him in the natural realm, whereas we have to believe Him by faith. Yes, there are spiritual experiences, but we sense them with our spirits mostly and after that we believe (1 Peter 1:8).

Paul found himself at an interesting crossroads towards the end of His impacting life. He had done well in ministry and now had a desire to go to heaven and get his desired rest. In Christ, he had the assurance of faith and had also visited heaven in his visions. Going there held a lot of allurement for him, knowing that he had fulfilled his God-given assignment in life. However, at that crossroad, He decided in favour of selfless service (Philippians 1:23-25).

When the choice is between two spiritually right decisions, we are to tilt towards the one that edifies the body of Christ. In doing so, we emulate the Lord Jesus Christ who sacrificed Himself for us and did all He did in His redemptive work for our benefit and none of His. We are to be motivated by the love of God in our decisions and allow that to determine our service to others also (Galatians 5:13). Walking in love is always difficult for the flesh but love is a fruit of the Spirit and where a life is filled with the Spirit and led by Him, it is possible to live selflessly, forgive liberally, and give generously. If the crossroad is between being self-centred or selfless like Christ, the choice is obvious.

This leads me to choices between instant gratification and investing in the future. Jacob was smart to keep his eye on the future when though he cooked to satisfy his hunger, he chose to delay gratification to satisfy his brother’s impatience and obtain the brother’s inheritance in the future. Investments are usually small compared to their long-term harvests and dividends, yet, it requires discipline to do them. It’s always a choice between more immediate comfort or future pleasure.

Esau couldn’t just wait. That is how our bodily appetites feel. They trick our brains to make us feel like life depends on them. Our sugar cravings which are destroying health, sexual appetites leading to marital failures, self-promotions leading to financial difficulties and the list is endless. The flesh makes it seem like a lost opportunity for gratification is life-depleting and yet it is the other way round. At a crossroads, choosing the future over the present is the way to go. To be continued…

Victor Adeyemi.