One of the things I admired about my father-in-law was how he raised his children to be confident. To my father-in-law, you could get a beating for shaking while talking to him. He believed that if you shook before him, you would shake before other human beings. He intentionally raised his children to be bold, confident, and secure in themselves.

That upbringing produced remarkable results. My wife and her siblings grew up with a level of confidence that was difficult to ignore. There was no room they felt intimidated by, no audience they felt too small to address, and no individual they felt unworthy to approach. They learned early in life that they were not inferior to anyone.

My own upbringing was quite different.
Like many people, I was raised with a measure of fear. There was an unspoken tendency to be intimidated by authority figures, to second-guess myself, and to shrink back when confidence was required. It cost me opportunities early in life.

Looking back, I can see how fear quietly robs people of experiences, relationships, and possibilities that God intended for them to enjoy.

When I got married, my wife and I made a deliberate decision concerning our children. We determined that they would look us in the eyes when speaking to us. Not because we wanted to diminish respect, but because we wanted to cultivate confidence. We wanted them to understand that confidence and respect are not opposites. A person can be respectful and still be bold.

This principle is not only important in raising children. It is also critical in our walk with God.
Fear causes believers to doubt. And doubt has consequences.

The Bible says in James 1:6-8: “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

Many believers genuinely love God, yet struggle to receive from Him because they approach Him with uncertainty and trepidation. They ask for healing while expecting sickness to linger. They ask for provision while anticipating lack, because they don’t know where it will come from. Faith cannot flourish where fear dominates.

Hebrews tells us: “Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)

Jesus said in Mark 11:24: “Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Faith believes before it sees. Faith thanks God before circumstances change.

One of the greatest enemies of progress is intimidation. Many opportunities are lost long before a person ever reaches the door, lost in the mind. Someone never applies because they assume rejection. Someone never shares the idea God placed in their heart because they fear criticism. Fear makes giants out of ordinary situations.

I have discovered that many people we admire are not necessarily more gifted than others. They simply had the confidence to step forward when others stepped back.

Life rewards movement.
When you truly understand that God is with you, it changes how you see yourself. Confident people do not need to pretend or constantly prove themselves. They possess a settled assurance about who they are and whose they are.

Many believers are waiting for confidence to arrive before they act. In reality, confidence grows through action. You do not become confident because you never feel fear. You become confident because fear no longer gets the final vote.

Walk into the room. Knock on the door. Have the conversation. Apply for the opportunity. Take the step God is leading you to take.

The same God who asks you to trust Him goes ahead of you. When your confidence is rooted in Him, there is no challenge too overwhelming and no assignment too great for you to embrace.

Victor Adeyemi.